Do you ever find your mind drifting away to somewhere it quite possibly shouldn't be drifting to? It's happened to me a few times in recent weeks and months, and do you know the main reason for this happening (at least to me)? Train journeys. Sitting on a train for several hours and staring out of a window can really be dangerous for the human mind, especially when staring out at what seems like an eternity of German countryside. Then again, staring out of a window can also do some pretty good things to a mind...maybe a realisation of something or a euphoric moment. Perhaps not quite on the same level as some of the great discoveries in human history, but some good things have definitely come from staring out of a window on a long journey.
Anyway, I found myself thinking back to years and months gone by. Times where I've left an opportunity or a particular moment slip through my fingers and potentially disappear forever because I either don't say the right thing or say nothing at all. At times, I'm not sure which is worse...I suspect silence wins. As an alternative, maybe it's a situation where I should have done something...and did nothing.
It isn't the first time that I've done this, and it almost certainly won't be the last. It always seems to happen at moments of complete silence where I am able to be truly alone with my thoughts. I guess that's part of the reason I spend so much time listening to podcasts, music and comedy, especially when listening. That way, I can listen to someone else talking and hear their thoughts instead of whatever my brain has to conjure up. In some way, it could be a "save me from myself" type of thing...but at a very basic entry level of my mind.
I don't know why I do it, but I do. And I always seem to look at the mistakes I've made in life and reflect back on those rather than focusing on the good things, or things that I've done right. Maybe I'm an idiot for doing this...it's just another reason on a fairly long list of why I could be called a fool with good reason.
I'll keep doing it though whenever I find myself alone with my thoughts. It makes me a stronger person, it gives me something to learn from and means that (hopefully) I don't repeat mistakes that I've already made somewhere in my life. There we go...that's my eureka moment.
Looking at it that way, maybe it isn't such a bad thing to spend a bit of time with my thoughts..